The recurring theme that my family tosses my way is "What has your new belief done for you? Has it made you any happier?" The truth is, it has not. Where ignorance is bliss, it just might indeed be folly to be wise. In fact, the question that pops into my head especially while I'm sitting in my beautiful backyard in the evenings is, "So this is it?" The question has more profundity now that there is no hope of a glorious hereafter.
Previously, whenever I'd have one of those weeks and would wonder if there was more to life than the rhythmic echos of a mundane existence I would console myself in the knowledge that but for a time we suffered but had heaven to look forward to. True, this life sucks but the next will be be filled with perfection, love, and joy. The very fabric of heaven and the universe will be woven in harmony and laced with the sensation of ultimate belonging and acceptance only that being with God can achieve...
If only. Bummer to realize that it is all the stuff of poets and dreamers. Would have been nice. I guess the insightful philosopher was correct: "Life sucks, and then you die." Bummer.
It's not all that, of course. There is much to be happy about and to enjoy. In fact there are many times that I'm filled with laughter and just plain having a grand time. It doesn't last. A story about suffering in other parts of the world or just the normal miasma oozing from the zealot determined to suck you back into the Matrix.
But I guess it's always been that way. There are those who have set themselves to live life here and now, and those destined to ignore this life in hopes of spinning a better number in the next. Yet for my part I enjoyed the idea that the worst that this world could roll my way paled in comparison to the matchless charms that awaited us of faith.
If only. Bummer.
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2 comments:
I am a person with a lot of questions and came across your blog. Although I'm new to blogging, I'd like to ask more questions if you're up for it.
I grew up in a mainline church whose beliefs I have questioned over the years. I am a truth seeker; I want to know what the truth really is. I glanced at your background and saw that you were a former pastor. I don't know what SDA's believe, but what do you believe now and why? You said you are wise now, why do you believe that? How do we find happiness or does it even exist? Thanks.
Did I slip and say I was "wise"? That was pretty foolish of me :)
Happiness definately exists. So does sadness. Joy and anger also. I'm just not sure that a church can make you happy but have seen plenty that can make you sad or angry...if you let it.
Thanks for stopping by. Keep searching for answers and at the very least you'll continue to learn - and find more questions.
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